Effective social intelligence simulation requires language agents to dynamically adjust reasoning depth, a capability notably absent in current approaches. While existing methods either lack this kind of reasoning capability or enforce uniform long chain-of-thought reasoning across all scenarios, resulting in excessive token usage and inappropriate social simulation. In this paper, we propose $\textbf{A}$daptive $\textbf{M}$ode $\textbf{L}$earning ($\textbf{AML}$) that strategically selects from four thinking modes (intuitive reaction $\rightarrow$ deep contemplation) based on real-time context. Our framework's core innovation, the $\textbf{A}$daptive $\textbf{M}$ode $\textbf{P}$olicy $\textbf{O}$ptimization ($\textbf{AMPO}$) algorithm, introduces three key advancements over existing methods: (1) Multi-granular thinking mode design, (2) Context-aware mode switching across social interaction, and (3) Token-efficient reasoning via depth-adaptive processing. Extensive experiments on social intelligence tasks confirm that AML achieves 15.6% higher task performance than state-of-the-art methods. Notably, our method outperforms GRPO by 7.0% with 32.8% shorter reasoning chains. These results demonstrate that context-sensitive thinking mode selection, as implemented in AMPO, enables more human-like adaptive reasoning than GRPO's fixed-depth approach