Learning to Forget -- Hierarchical Episodic Memory for Lifelong Robot Deployment

Robots must verbalize their past experiences when users ask "Where did you put my keys?" or "Why did the task fail?" Yet maintaining life-long episodic memory (EM) from continuous multimodal perception quickly exceeds storage limits and makes real-time query impractical, calling for selective forgetting that adapts to users' notions of relevance. We present H$^2$-EMV, a framework enabling humanoids to learn what to remember through user interaction. Our approach incrementally constructs hierarchical EM, selectively forgets using language-model-based relevance estimation conditioned on learned natural-language rules, and updates these rules given user feedback about forgotten details. Evaluations on simulated household tasks and 20.5-hour-long real-world recordings from ARMAR-7 demonstrate that H$^2$-EMV maintains question-answering accuracy while reducing memory size by 45% and query-time compute by 35%. Critically, performance improves over time - accuracy increases 70% in second-round queries by adapting to user-specific priorities - demonstrating that learned forgetting enables scalable, personalized EM for long-term human-robot collaboration.