Video Anomaly Detection (VAD) automatically identifies anomalous events from video, mitigating the need for human operators in large-scale surveillance deployments. However, three fundamental obstacles hinder real-world adoption: domain dependency and real-time constraints -- requiring near-instantaneous processing of incoming video. To this end, we propose Flashback, a zero-shot and real-time video anomaly detection paradigm. Inspired by the human cognitive mechanism of instantly judging anomalies and reasoning in current scenes based on past experience, Flashback operates in two stages: Recall and Respond. In the offline recall stage, an off-the-shelf LLM builds a pseudo-scene memory of both normal and anomalous captions without any reliance on real anomaly data. In the online respond stage, incoming video segments are embedded and matched against this memory via similarity search. By eliminating all LLM calls at inference time, Flashback delivers real-time VAD even on a consumer-grade GPU. On two large datasets from real-world surveillance scenarios, UCF-Crime and XD-Violence, we achieve 87.3 AUC (+7.0 pp) and 75.1 AP (+13.1 pp), respectively, outperforming prior zero-shot VAD methods by large margins.