The Adaptation Paradox: Agency vs. Mimicry in Companion Chatbots

Generative AI powers a growing wave of companion chatbots, yet principles for fostering genuine connection remain unsettled. We test two routes: visible user authorship versus covert language-style mimicry. In a preregistered 3x2 experiment (N = 162), we manipulated user-controlled avatar generation (none, premade, user-generated) and Language Style Matching (LSM) (static vs. adaptive). Generating an avatar boosted rapport ($\omega^2$ = .040, p = .013), whereas adaptive LSM underperformed static style on personalization and satisfaction (d = 0.35, p = .009) and was paradoxically judged less adaptive (t = 3.07, p = .003, d = 0.48). We term this an Adaptation Paradox: synchrony erodes connection when perceived as incoherent, destabilizing persona. To explain, we propose a stability-and-legibility account: visible authorship fosters natural interaction, while covert mimicry risks incoherence. Our findings suggest designers should prioritize legible, user-driven personalization and limit stylistic shifts rather than rely on opaque mimicry.